Alirghty. I'm OK with cutting off godchildren at 21. I mean, it does seem that there needs to be a cutoff sometime, and that's as good as any. As far as this year, really, I would be OK keeping things the way they are, but I totally understand that times are hard, and so I would be OK having people opt-in or out as well. Yes, I am not a good decision maker. If we keep things the same, maybe we can impose a flat, all-around spending limit on gifts? I mean, the idea is, it's nice to gather together and have packages to open. Opening things is fun. But they don't have to be expensive. I mean, even getting a book or a box of ramen or cookies or a Harry Potter calendar...all nice. It could even be a joke gift (though I am not joking that a box of ramen is nice). I'm not really so concerned with the material value of the gift. And if there's a limit all around, then no one has to feel bad about not spending as much as someone else, etc. Budgeting is awesome, but unforseen things do occur that throw off budgets (cough...having to buy a new car after yours gets stolen for the third and final time and you didn't necessarily think you were going to have to deal with that for at least another year or so). If we just do the names, and everyone is responsible for one present of maximum $20 or something, that's not too bad. We have Christmas to spend time together. And eat. If the group present-opening gets stripped down to one each, that seems fine. Most of my friends don't exchange gifts with extended family at all. And ya know, if you really want to buy something big for someone, nifty. Buy it and give it to them at another time. I'm rambling like my mother, and I was going to try not to. OK--Cut off godpresents at 21. This younger family member is fine either keeping things the same or having people opt in/out, but thinks maybe a spending limit of a low amount would be nice in order to a) help budgets and b) remember this is about being together, not about buying fancy things. :):):)

I do think it is important that we remember that the budgets and resources in our family vary according to the stage we are in in addition to the economy. Please remember that our positions are all very different and be sensitive to others. What is doable for you may not be for someone else. I think there is an insinuation that I have not budgeted well. That is not it. I am trying to think not only of my family but of others.

Christmas

I have to agree with Leslie that there are many of us who have to be very careful with our budgets. (Eric Held would be so proud of me for saying budget)
The holidays are my favorite time of year only because of the time spent with loved ones. It is not the gifts by any means. It is the memories we make, the laughs we share and just being able to be with everyone.
I do believe it puts a burden on some of us as far as the gift exchange goes. It makes sense that anyone who would like to be a part of this names goes in the hat, and to give the opportunity for those of us who need to bow out (maybe for this year only or whatever amount of time) can do so gracefully and not feel any guilt about it.
For those of you who enjoy giving......I do understand.......however I know what Leslie is saying about the feeling you have if you do not return the giving.
I think I am rambling here with little time for that. So bottom line.........
anyone who would like to be in the exchange should let Laurie know
for godchildren the cut off should be at least 21 (it was when you were confirmed as we grew up)
I love all of you and respect each of your individual opinions. What Sherry said about the memories, pictures, and stories I believe to be true. They are what I remember and my family remembers. That is what counts...the love and happiness shared by this family not only at Christmas but throughout the year.
This coming year is going to be scary and very unstable for our country........
Grandchildren what are your thoughts on this? You are probably the main reason this discussion started. We have heard Laurie's thoughts. How about yours?
God bless us each and every one!!!

Christmas

Thanks, but no thanks. Christmas shopping has begun here. I, too, figure this into our budget before Christmas approaches. My list is long, but I sooooo love giving gifts at this particular time of year. I do believe, however, no one should feel compelled to buy a gift...nor do I think the gift must be an expensive one. I have a priceless frog that sits in front of my TV set made for me by a young sister who wasn't even working, yet wanted to give me something out of love for my bridal shower. I also have a handmade pink doily that another sister made...she, too, didn't have any money, but talked Mom out of some material and hand sewed it for me!! Sometimes, the best gifts are those that can't be bought, but are given from deep within the heart. And certainly not withstanding, I wouldn't trade Mom and Dad's birthday pictures, Christmas calendar, family address book, and life story for all the money in the world!!

Christmas Ideas

Well, the elections are over so I guess this will be the next topic for heated discussions in our family. As always, we have mixed opinions and are not afraid to speak up, which is one of the things that I count as a blessing-no one holds back :)
I have been thinking about this as well, I really feel that EVERYONE who wishes to should be part of a family drawing including those loved ones who are not blood related but we are lucky enough to call "family". And although it does bring us close to what we already do-I would like to include godchildren/godparents until they turn 21.
I don't think that it is only the economy-but the simple fact that as our family grows larger and larger (which is wonderful) you have to begin drawing some lines somewhere. Just as when we were growing up our grandparents, aunts and uncles had to.
The one thing that I would really miss would be the time that we spend together-that is the most precious to me and to my own family. If I could pool all of the money we spent and just bring EVERYONE together for our holiday I would give up every single gift given and received!!!
Our children (and ourselves) have so many precious memories of our family time together that no gift could ever replace......ask them what they got last Christmas and they probably could not tell you....ask them about our trips and they will rattle off a dozen stories!
And when you talk to our own cousins they will tell you how they miss our gatherings-I hope that we never allow that to happen because once you let it slip away it is very hard to return to. I know that just by moving I feel a disconnect that I have never felt before-so, whatever is decided I am just happy to be a part of such a fantastic family! I love you all and miss you SO MUCH
Love Sue

Christmas Names

I for one disagree. Yes the economy is tight, but I have already started purchasing for Chrismas and had it figured into my budget long ago as have a few others that i am aware of in the family. Maybe this should be a discussion for gift giving in 2009 rather than 2008. While I agree that maybe there should be a cutoff on when the godparent/godchildren gift giving should end, it's been pointed out that Leslie receievd a check from her godmother well into her marriage. Just my opinion...

Christmas 2008

Hello everyone-

After conversations with my siblings, I feel it makes sense for me to post a blog to start a wider (but quick) conversation. By no means am I trying to force my opinions but I do feel compelled to voice my concerns regarding Christmas and start a conversation albeit online.

In the present economy, we (Eric, the kids & I) are compelled to re-think our spending habits. Things look different today than they did even a short month ago. As a family, we've talked about conservation in numerous ways- water, heat, spending, etc. While we have tried not to create worry in the kids, I think that it is important for them to understand that neither our nor others resources are without limits. I think this is a valuable lesson.

While we are not panicked, we are facing real risks as are many of those that we know. At least in DSM; layoffs, salary cuts and freezes are becoming commonplace. Perhaps it is due to being the insurance capitol where we are surrounded by finance.

Because things are different this year, I am suggesting that we reconsider our traditions regarding gifts in our extended family. While we love to give to those we care about, the number of gifts creates a very real expense for us all. I want to be sensitive to every member of our family from the retired to the single incomes, newly married, expectant parents, new homeowners to the young families. If there is any gift we can give, to face 2009 with less debt is a worthy one.

I know that we all enjoy giving & not a single one of us expects a thing in return. Realistically, however, it is uncomfortable to receive a gift and not to reciprocate no matter what is said. That is simply human nature. So, for some to do this and not others, simply makes the entire situation uncomfortable.

So my proposal is that for those who wish to participate, we simply draw names. Some may, for various reasons, decide to skip this year & that is perfectly fine.

Others have stated young godchildren should be included. Still others add godparents. I would counter, that brings us close to where we are now. As a parent of one of the younger kids, I have to say they won't know the difference. One gift and time with their family is a blessing.

All that said, I know time is short. I, too, plan to be shopping come Saturday. Whether it is for 1, 5 or 10 I know that I am blessed beyond words to call each of you family.

Love,
Leslie